Drinking game, drink and be set on fire?

Above and below, stupid is as stupid does.

 What probably would surprise you the most about Hell is that things are pretty much like they are above, we work, we live and we fall in love.  Hell, at least where we are in it, is an endless extension of where we were which in itself defines Hell to most of you.  Things are very much alike with the one big exception that we cant die…again.   We can get hurt, but with time and some of the best HMOs in history we’ll heal up eventually.  Some of the deeper levels make good use of this feature by punishing those who have been especially naughty, Mel Gibson for example. 

But dip shits are above and below about the same, except here they sometimes hurt each other on purpose knowing things will eventually heal themselves.  I’m reading for you, a story of three Hellish idiots I have in front of me:

The boys lived in a part of hell called New Mexico and were out drinking one night when one of the three decided to stage a bet.  Whoever drinks the least in the next hour will be set on fire, he said.  They all agreed, because thats what idiots do, and they began drinking.  At the end of one hour one of the men, the one with a prosthetic leg (no I’m not making this up), was the loser with only 6 beers counted to his name. 

With a belch and a laugh he stuck out his leg and said go ahead set me on fire.  They did.

And he burned.  Second and third degree burns up his butt and back. 

Ripping clothes off to ease the pain once the fire was out his friends decided to drunk drive to the nearest hospital.  At some point on their short journey they got nervous about getting into trouble and instead dropped their friend off on the side of the Hwy, while he screamed in pain needing medical attention, not to mention a new prosthetic leg.

The man was eventually picked up and taken to the burn center at Las Cruces New Mexico….wait a minute.  This didn’t happen down here, this all happened up there!  This is a real story from the real New Mexico!     

I think the idiots who self mutilate down here are nut jobs, but they’ll heal.  This guy’s going to be as black and gross for the rest of his life as the Gulf of Mexico.  I’ll have to check but I dont think we have a circle in Hell for stupid people.  I’m not sure what to do with these guys. 

Syndra

are you coming…?

This is world cup players vs. Ninjas would look like. I love this

are you coming…?

What would the World Cup look like in Hell? (Video)

Photos of Worst building plans Ever!

Smallest withdrawl is 10K. Exclusive ATM for the NBA

"Wife! Im telling you this for the last time. Im not putting that window there"

"But Daddy, we buried Schmoopie under that tree we have to keep it forever"

The workers from outside Home Depot laughed all the way home. He said put in a driveway, we put in a driveway.

Outside stairwell to Libertarian offices.

Bugs Bunny had this installed to keep up with his crazy antics.

Two men would have to be really drunk or reside in San Fran to use these.

Only those with the faith to believe the ceiling isnt real may pass.

"You said you wanted a pole for Christmas to dance? There's your pole. Now dance"

 

"PSYCH!" Evil architect

 

Syndra

are you coming…?

I’ve heard Porn causes blindness, but Death?

Nichola Paginton

Porn has been around thousands of years.  No one wants to talk about it, but trillions of you have tried it or been exposed to it.  Its not new, but there’s a new way of discouraging youngsters from experimenting with it.  Tell a boy he’ll get a hairy palm, or go blind will work, and scar the kid, for a while but he’ll eventually learn the truth and go back to ‘business’.  Share with the kid the story of Nichola Paginton and you may have the solution.

Authorities ruled out foul play when they discovered the body of Nichola Paginton after receiving a phone call from her employer.  She had missed a few days at work and had not returned any phone calls.  Police discovered her body in bed, without pants, but with a laptop on top and a personal toy under the blankets. 

Coroners in Gloucestershire ruled that sexual excitement led to an arrhythmia that ultimately killed her.  The movie on her laptop is clearly the most dangerous porn ever created and as such the authorities have refused to release the title.  Release of this video clearly could spell the end of humanity with both men and women being sucked into its spell.  Reminds me of this movie.

I’ve spoken with Nichola and have helped her get settled.  She’s embarrassed beyond belief that this was the way she had to go and is a bit pissed to be honest.  I dont blame her.  She wishes she had both lived longer but also didn’t leave her parents with the burden of all press (me included) and embarrassment.  She realizes that when they arrive they can all have a good laugh about it, but in the meantime she’s keeping her head low even though she’s getting numerous offers for dates.  This last moment was not a proud one for her.

Runway model Disasters. Designers coming to Hell

These are the fashions from the Paris lines, both men and women.  Models who clearly love humiliation, and designers who are coming to Hell. 

Oh yeah Baby, I love it when you wear the birdcage…So hot!

What the Hell??

Honey? You ready yet? The Andersons are waiting in the driveway.

HA! This is Cheri, she's a friend of mine who lives here in Hell. She must have come up to mess with ya' all.

Its no wonder that men think about sex every 7 seconds.

There's no way I COULD think of sex with this guy.

First slasher movie starring a gay killer.

For you girls who want your US Vets to love fishing and diapers. Dont worry, I dont judge.

Lucky Charms?

Sorry, I got nuthin'. This just blows

The 'Murca'. Its a Burca for men, because seeing their bodies turns us on too much.

If there were ever a reason to cross Charlie Chaplin with Hitler, we know now what we'd get.

 

Syndra

are you coming…?

The Barefoot Bandit, Colton Harris-Moore

If you dont know Colton Harris-Moore yet aka The Barefoot Bandit, you will soon.  A book will be made about him you wont read, followed by a movie that will go straight to cable.  At some point you’ll be on your couch surfing whats available, remember a news story or this article and click it on.  He will become someone you either cheer for or rally against.  Either way I can be sure you will have an opinion about Colton. 

Colt is a modern day John Dillinger.  A criminal whose life will end up poorly one day and maybe end entirely at the hands of the authorities, I dont have the records on him yet, but in life he is still admired by many and cheered on by many more.  His own mom was quoted as saying, as Colton maintains his second year on the run from the police “Its kinda Neat”. 

Here’s a quick background on Colton.  His father left when he was 2.  His stepfather died when he was 7 and his mom is a nut.  His first known theft was at age 10 and from that point on, his mom says, he was blamed for everything on Camano Island in Washington State where he grew up.  The police were out for him, once even taking his moms jewelry into evidence that she claims was hers. 

I dont think the jewelry was hers, and I do think he did most of what they think he did.  His mom is an enabler and has helped him through this long run.  Ultimately she is responsible just as the owner of a Pit bull that attacks a child is.  How you raise a kid is how the kid be raised. 

Two years ago he began running from a warrant and hid in the woods on the island he grew up on.  Stealing from neighborhood houses while homeowners were gone and sleeping in the woods became his MO.  Many of his thefts were done barefoot, leaving prints, giving him the clever nickname The Barefoot Bandit.

His bravado was proven when he first stole a boat to cross into Canada, returning some time later, and a plane that he later crash landed.  His mom was quoted as saying “I think [the plane thefts are] pretty gutsy, He just needs to work on his landings. I’ve also said he should take a parachute.”

Fansites have gone up on Facebook, one with over 44,000 fans and T-Shirt sales with the slogan “Momma Tried” have been sold by the thousands. 

Recently an anonymous donor offered Colton $50,ooo to turn himself in to help with his legal bills.  The money was left cold on the table.  Coltons desire to be free is truely at any price.  Fifty grand to end it all, to come clean and pay back society. To get on with a normal life wasnt enough. 

Authorities believe Colton has moved east, through Idaho, South Dakota, Nebraska, Iowa and Illinois where similar crimes were all reported.   

Last week a plane was stolen from Illinois and was found crash landed in a few feet of water in the Bahamas.  Colton has gone as far east as he can and still be in the country.  What could he be up to now?  Escape on a cruise ship maybe? Steal a cruise ship? 

I dont know, but he is not much longer for freedom.  The kid is pictured above in the self portrait, the FBI knows what he looks like, and he is six foot five.  He stands out.  Now he is in the heavily black community in the Bahamas and although there are tourists galore he’s going to struggle to stay under the radar there and he cant get off easily. 

Colton Harris-Moore.  I wish you the best in not getting yourself killed, and I hope you stay the non-violent gentle giant you seem to be right up to the day they catch you.  My greatest prediction is that you will commit suicide to stay free.  I dont have a date for you to arrive yet, but you will.  We’ll talk more soon.  Till then….

Syndra

are you coming…?