Drinking game, drink and be set on fire?

Above and below, stupid is as stupid does.

 What probably would surprise you the most about Hell is that things are pretty much like they are above, we work, we live and we fall in love.  Hell, at least where we are in it, is an endless extension of where we were which in itself defines Hell to most of you.  Things are very much alike with the one big exception that we cant die…again.   We can get hurt, but with time and some of the best HMOs in history we’ll heal up eventually.  Some of the deeper levels make good use of this feature by punishing those who have been especially naughty, Mel Gibson for example. 

But dip shits are above and below about the same, except here they sometimes hurt each other on purpose knowing things will eventually heal themselves.  I’m reading for you, a story of three Hellish idiots I have in front of me:

The boys lived in a part of hell called New Mexico and were out drinking one night when one of the three decided to stage a bet.  Whoever drinks the least in the next hour will be set on fire, he said.  They all agreed, because thats what idiots do, and they began drinking.  At the end of one hour one of the men, the one with a prosthetic leg (no I’m not making this up), was the loser with only 6 beers counted to his name. 

With a belch and a laugh he stuck out his leg and said go ahead set me on fire.  They did.

And he burned.  Second and third degree burns up his butt and back. 

Ripping clothes off to ease the pain once the fire was out his friends decided to drunk drive to the nearest hospital.  At some point on their short journey they got nervous about getting into trouble and instead dropped their friend off on the side of the Hwy, while he screamed in pain needing medical attention, not to mention a new prosthetic leg.

The man was eventually picked up and taken to the burn center at Las Cruces New Mexico….wait a minute.  This didn’t happen down here, this all happened up there!  This is a real story from the real New Mexico!     

I think the idiots who self mutilate down here are nut jobs, but they’ll heal.  This guy’s going to be as black and gross for the rest of his life as the Gulf of Mexico.  I’ll have to check but I dont think we have a circle in Hell for stupid people.  I’m not sure what to do with these guys. 

Syndra

are you coming…?

~ by Syndra on July 12, 2010.