Body Implants, the varieties, the horns, the horror…

Implants, why would you

do them? Have you done one of the many types of implants offered already? Breasts for sure are becoming common place, but only because the grandma down the block did hers making it ‘normal’. Now it seems silly that you wouldn’t. You’ve been trolling the local hotspots for years having no luck and granny gets a new pair and suddenly becomes the GILF on the block. NO FAIR!

I imagine that butt implants, hip implants, arms and chest will all become more normal as well but so far outside of the 90210 zip code this is still pretty freaky. I know fake boobs feel funny, but do fake ass’s? If people are so concerned about going to healthy stores to eat healthy, and only get the best organic foods to put in themselves, then are they considering what these plastics may do? I’m not judging here, I love to look at hot bods but its kinda nice to know who bought it and who is simply genetically superior to me.

Here’s a before and after of a guys chest implant. Mmmm, chests. My favorite. So what could $10K (or so) do for a guys chest? I think you’ll see that this is definitely a worthwhile…..wait…

He still looks like a pus! Twenty push ups a day for two weeks could have done this! Where’s the bulge, the veins, the ripples? Not to mention the arms. This pansy is a weenie, and now he’s too broke to take you out. What good is that? Definite failure here.

Now this little guy got some good use out of his parents money. Handsome little fella huh?

But what about the more extreme versions of body implants? What about these folks who like to really freak us out with what they do to themselves? It used to be that a green Mohawk was plenty to get the sidewalk to yourself. Now its blah. Mohawks use to symbolize freakiness, lawlessness and absolute pandemonium. A man or woman crazy enough and dedicated enough to grow one, and then paint it had to be outside the bounds of normalcy so we’d leave em alone. Now, its just cool.

Piercings started catching on in the eighties, with little nose studs. This alone was enough to freak out any parent and at the time get you destined for Hell.

Now the ante has been raised. The bar sent through the moon. The floor dropped from any and all posers who think they can compete. There is really nothing left after these body alterations…I hope.